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Waiting to be Consumed by You
20 most recent entries

Date:2007-05-09 19:07
Subject:update
Security:Public
Mood: happy

1. I am done with my 3rd year at uni as of 4:30 this afternoon. w00t.

2. I am the new Honorary Secretary of the Edinburgh University Sports Union Executive Committee.  Woohoo for chairing like every committee for a high ranking BUSA sports union.

3. I have a boyfriend...we've been seeing each other on and off since last October and finally got it together...pretty sweet. word.

4. I still don't know where I'm living next year. booooo.

5. I'm playing in women's nationals for ultimate frisbee this weekend down in Cambridge. pretty awesome.

6. I leave in like 2 and 1/2 weeks for a month in Australia. holler.

thatisallfornow

(kiss me)





Date:2007-04-29 12:39
Subject:
Security:Public
Mood: angry

So I'm angry.

I don't get angry very often and more than likely when I actually do I tell myself to shut up as if it's not a valid emotion.  I realize that a lot of what is behind anger is hurt, but I'm pissed.  A few months ago my flatmate Jack said that he wouldn't be living with us next year because he had found a way cheaper place closer to uni that would be quieter (which he felt he would need for his final year).  Fair enough.  The other four of us decided to go on and live as a 4.  Whilst we hadn't sorted things out yet I was getting emails from both Matt and Rob over Easter saying that they were looking at flats.  So yesterday Matt comes into my room and talks to me for about a half an hour about exams and revision and such like nothing is going on.  Then he kind of goes quiet and tells me that he's moving out next year to live with people from his course.  When I asked him how long he had been thinking about this he said since last year because he doesn't do very well with the Rob-Jack dynamic in the flat.  WTF MATE!!! It is now past Easter, we're already slacking on the flat front, why didn't he tell us earlier?!  RIght so then I went to talk to Leanne and Rob...Leanne doesn't think that we would make a good 3 which is fair, so she suggests that we all just go our own ways.  This pisses me off for several reasons:

1. It immediately seems like a good idea to her because she can live with people on her course, there is a solution available for her and it doesn't even occur to her that it might not be such an easy thing for others
2. Rob isn't dealing with this because he's in the middle of exams and doesn't want to think about it (plus the fact that him and I have hooked up makes the idea of a 2 with him not such a good one)
3. ALL of my friends have already sorted out their flats for next year which means that either I get lucky in the next month and find a friend that I can live with or I have to go find a room in a random flat...awesome way to spend my final year!

So this all works out grrrrrrreat for Matt because he's got people to live with, and great for Leanne because she does, totally unconsequential at this point for Rob because he's not thinking about it, and I get screwed.  And the thing is, Leanne said that she was going to go talk to the girls on her course about it at the pub last night, and then I told her my situation, and I'm sure the fact that she was gonna go to the pub, talk to the girls, and live with them if they said yes, didn't change at all after I told her.  It might have made her feel a little crappier about doing it, but nothing changed.  Is this what friends do? And why the fuck wasn't I let in on it?

(1 kisse | kiss me)





Date:2007-01-30 09:22
Subject:
Security:Public

I just woke up in tears...even in my dream i was anxious despite how great the situation was...he was asking me to try again, cut right to the chase and it through me off...and through my cautious happiness i could still my heart breaking from last time-years ago...how the hell are dreams so freaking realistic sometimes...I'm sitting here trying not to cry again telling myself it was just a dream and now i have to go to a lecture where we're discussing Augustine's 'Confessions' and how you can remember emotions without them necessarily being evoked...hahaha

(kiss me)





Date:2006-10-08 19:24
Subject:Hyphee?
Security:Public

(1 kisse | kiss me)





Date:2006-09-29 13:09
Subject:Closing in...
Security:Public
Mood: excited

I can't wait...to be with you.
No, I just can't sit still....are we there, yet?
Takes me back...I remember.
Such a magical place...
It was all you

Closing in...I hope that you make it.
Closing in...I hope that you find your way.

Frame by frame...
Red speed ahead.
A city dissolving, the thread of your love in the headlights.
Is it safe now...will your arms be open?
I just have to kiss you...try and stop me.

Closing in...I hope that you make it.
Closing in...I hope that you find your way.
Closing in...it's all that I want... in the whole world.
Closing in...please be mine... please be there.

What are you like?
Where did you get to?
No word, not nothing
You didn't hold me, for any longer.
What you want for the fear of love?
Oh, don't you believe enough.
Well I'll cover both of us. You can!
Leave that to me!

Closing in...I hope that you make it.
Closing in...I hope that you find your way.
Closing in...closing in...


ps. cheers to Jacob because i apparently missed out on Imogen Heap too...

(2 kisses | kiss me)





Date:2006-09-15 13:46
Subject:
Security:Public

HAPPY FREAKIN BDAY ANNIE!!!!!!!!!!!...i miss you and our laguna nights more than you know!!!

Xx

(1 kisse | kiss me)





Date:2006-05-08 20:16
Subject:And that's me done...
Security:Public

I finish uni for the year tomorrow...and i'm ready but i'm not but i'm ready...i love what i'm revising right now, and out of all of the exams i could be taking tomorrow i'll probably enjoy this one in as much as one can, but i cannot, for the life of me concentrate...

my best friend went home tonight because her grandfather is in hospital and maybe that's what's setting this off...i'm really going to miss this place...not that i'm not excited to get back to the states, Lord knows i talk about it all the time, but the thought of leaving my friends and Edinburgh in general really depresses me...it's like all of those new feelings from 1st year only they're not new anymore just more intense...

ach well...my other flatmate just got home...and she's brought me chocolate...time to go...

xx

(2 kisses | kiss me)





Date:2006-03-26 22:05
Subject:Spain
Security:Public
Mood: thankful

Today I went to church in an enclave of a cathedral and when i looked up the light through the stain glass window turned the incense smoke different colors and i just sat and thought about the old men in ornate robes and how the dust looked on them and whether they believed that the chalice behind them was actually that of the Last Supper and how small it was and then I tried to understand what they were saying...

Then I walked to the Mediterranean sea on a dried up Spanish riverbed...

Tonight I ate ice cream on the promenade with a german journalist who interviews Brad Pitt and Turkish gangster rappers and the widow of Stanley Kubrick and talked about love and realized how similar people are everywhere and it felt amazing and familiar and i wasn't alone even though i'm here on my own...

(1 kisse | kiss me)





Date:2006-03-24 20:06
Subject:Spain
Security:Public

Today I arrived in Valencia...

It was snowing in Edinburgh on Wednesday...

It was 30 degrees celcius here today and I have visibly darker freckles...

It hasn't set in yet that I'm in a country that I've never been to before that speaks a language I don't speak all by myself...

It's gorgeous and romantic (but not in the garish sentimental sense)...

I keep speaking French to people and I don't know why...but I think it works better than English here...

More later...

xx
~britt

(kiss me)





Date:2006-03-19 09:45
Subject:Update
Security:Public

So I realized that I haven't updated in quite a while and that there are probably a couple things that I've done in the past month or so that are worth documenting...

1) I went with our second team (as well as our first team) to women's indoor nationals for ultimate frisbee...we were the only second team in Britain to get through and ended up placing 12th out of 16 which I was well chuffed about...amazing time...great banter...bring on outdoor nationals in May...

2) Last weekend a bunch of my friends and I got a random text saying something to the effect of 'pillow fight on the mound be there at 19:38'...so, with pillows in hand we headed to the national gallery where we found a couple hundred people trying to hide pillows so that they didn't look stupid in case no one else showed up...and at 19:38 a foghorn was blown and we all proceeded to have a pillow fight in the rain and remaining snow...it's amazing how tiring it is to get hit with a pillow for 20 minutes...i haven't laughed that hard in ages...and then finally when the last people got tired enough to stop we all just dispursed...random

3)Had a philosophy night out which i'm now convinced is the way forward...i forgot just how much i miss sitting around with a bunch of guys that can play instruments and just singing...we sat up until about 5 just playing and singing and it never got old...and it felt amazing to have butterflies again because i'm scared to sing in front of people and even though the butterflies dont go away they start to feel good and i just kept singing...and then we walked all the way back from leith...which is ages away from anywhere...but we curb jumped and sang and were nerdy philosophy students the whole way...i think i'm going to join choir again...

4) I leave on thursday for Spain where I will spend a week in Valencia by my lonesome...then head to Milan to meet my friend Sophie...stay there for a long weekend and then head back to Grenoble to visit Sophie's home/family for about 5 days and then head to northern France where i will spend another week by myself...then come back to Edinburgh...revise...finish my second year at uni (where has 2 years gone?) and then my Dad will come and visit for the last week i am here in May...then Home...

xx
~britt

(1 kisse | kiss me)





Date:2005-12-08 14:09
Subject:Dublin
Security:Public
Mood: indescribable

went to Dublin last weekend to play frisbee in a tournament which i did (we placed 2nd)...and met a boy...he's not my type at all...completely proper and sweet but when i had to say goodbye on the sunday night tears were in my eyes as he said "i knew i was gonna miss you, but i didn't realize that i was gonna miss you like this until just now"...i ran to catch up with the others and sat on the bus in complete wonder at how attached i felt after two days...

the next day there was an email from Johnny in my inbox telling me how he'd never felt this way before...and musing about how this could work with the Irish sea in between us...the next day he asked if he could book flights out to see me before i went home...he flies in on the 14th and then will see me off at the airport when i go home on the 17th...in the meantime i have to revise for exams but all i seem to be able to do is check flight prices for January and think about how amazing/quick/scary/brilliant the past week has been...

(kiss me)





Date:2005-11-11 18:25
Subject:
Security:Public
Mood: chipper

Hmmm...i've never been so busy in my life and it's brilliant!

Had a lot of fun (despite how little sleep i got) writing a 3000 word essay on Aquinas' 5 proofs for the existence of God and the different senses in which the medieval mind thought of 'proof'...quickly followed by a slightly shorter one on the semantics of time...

Theology is again becoming my favorite part of my course and now one of my old tutors who i'm quite good friends with is a professor in the theology department at glasgow uni...woohoo...although alistair, one of my philosophy lecturers, has made me realize how cool philosophy of space and time is...two possiblities for my phD...AND if you're top of your class or close to it then they pay for your phD...I dont have a chance of getting that in philosophy but considering my marks in theology there's a possibility of it there with the HUGE stipulations that i a)at least keep up my current marks and b)work my ass off for the next couple years haha...

i had such a brilliant year last year and it amazes me that this year is even better...

my flat is gorgeous and homey and my flatmates are some of my best friends...and i feel in shape again for the first time in about a year...and uni is wonderful...the only damper on things is that there are gail force winds/rain happening outside my window haha...knew there was a reason i moved to this country...jk this city is my best friend...AND jason is coming to visit next weekend!!! so stoked...plus dylan might study here next year...how random/awesome...

haha...this post has just been me bragging about my life...but really not...i'm just happy...or happier i should say...it's funny that deathcab seems to fit me right now considering the words aren't necessarily upbeat...but yeah...good times...

signing off...
~britt

ps. i have a date tonight...it has been like a million years since i've been on a proper date...eep

(1 kisse | kiss me)





Date:2005-10-23 17:42
Subject:Easy as 1-2-3
Security:Public
Mood: refreshed

Before...

After...

Today...

(7 kisses | kiss me)





Date:2005-10-17 00:24
Subject:
Security:Public

So the past week or so has been full of some odd coincidences...reading a book for uni that in turn made me want to listen to classical music that made me remember the Nutcracker which led me to buy tchaikovsky which made me think of my mum who i rarely speak with while meeting a boy who was part of a conversation i had with my mum 8 years ago...

On top of that i've found a new family in the ultimate frisbee team...we spend so much of our time together...I went to Stirling for a frisbee tournament where i not only learned so many new formations but also got to dress like a cave woman and then ended up meeting some randomer with Harry and Jimbo and going to her flat and realizing at 7 in the morning that we hadn't gone to sleep and needed to be on the pitch for 9...it's amazing how quickly you can learn and improve when you're playing with people so much better than yourself...and i got bored so i started training myself to throw left-handed which makes breaking a force soooo much easier...but other than the technical side of it...i've only known my teamates for a max of 4 weeks and some of them are quickly becoming some of my best friends...it's like consuming my life and i adore it...

as far as uni goes i have an essay due for 1 tomorrow that i'm about 1/2 way finished with it...which might be due to the fact that the frisbee team had a 3-legged flat crawl last night which didn't end until 5 this morning...which consequently resulted in me waking up still completely drunk...funny because it's only about the 2nd or 3rd time that i've actually drank since coming back to uni...maybe i was making up for it...but my night was amazing...the people are amazing...things are great right now which inevitably means that i'm hopelessly confused and contemplative...why is that? when things are going well, no matter how content i am there is always those moments at night where i hope for more...it's kind of like last year in criminology when we discussed how suicide rates are just as high during economic prosperity as they are during economic decline...the theory being that the expectation is so much higher than what is actually achievable which leads to depression...not saying that i'm depressed by any means...probably more covetous than anything...but now i'm just rambling and tired and coming down with a cold...so yeah this is me...signing off...

~britt

Stirling PicsCollapse )

(4 kisses | kiss me)





Date:2005-10-16 04:46
Subject:
Security:Public
Mood:twitterpated and drunk

What is it about B's?

(kiss me)





Date:2005-08-22 23:06
Subject:
Security:Public
Mood: contemplative

I am now Brittany Fayette...that's really weird to say...it's the way that I've seen myself for a long time but to make it legal is odd...it seems like I should feel different...you know like on birthdays when you have that expectation of feeling a year older when really you're only the same few hours older that you are every morning...

Even with that subtle let down this is all so exciting...it finally feels like I'm making changes instead of talking about them...

(2 kisses | kiss me)





Date:2005-07-19 01:18
Subject:stolen quizzie-thingy
Security:Public

1. Leave a comment and I'll write something about you.
2. I'll choose a song/movie that reminds me of you.
3. I'll try to find a single word that best describes you.
4. I'll tell you the most memorable moment I've had with you.
5. I'll tell you something that I've always wondered about you.

6. Put this in your journal.

(5 kisses | kiss me)





Date:2005-07-14 22:33
Subject:
Security:Public
Mood: confused

playing the fool again...

(kiss me)





Date:2005-06-05 11:04
Subject:
Security:Public

-think of the first word that comes to mind when you think of me. (don't tell me what it is)
-run a google image search on that word
-reply to this entry and post a picture from that search
-put this in your journal, so others can do the same, if you haven't already

(kiss me)





Date:2005-05-13 19:40
Subject:
Security:Public

Sooooooo...who's already home for the summer and for those of you who aren't when are you returning??? and i need phone numbers because all of mine were on my computer...which got jacked...haha

~Britt

(1 kisse | kiss me)




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